More thoughts on this. What if you said this to your W?
"W, I am doing what I can to make things better. I know what I did was wrong. I have apologized, and I am seeing a therapist. If there is something more that I can do, any way at all that I can make things better, please tell me."
Wait for her to make any constructive suggestion. Most likely she will complain more about you ruining the marriage and talking about divorce. At times you might have to say, "Let me clarify this. Are you saying that you would like me to (move out/file for D/ eat sh!t and die)?" Write down every suggestion on a pad of paper.
When she has exhausted her suggestions, then ask her what SHE is willing to do to help the situation. She will say "I don't have to do anything, I'm not the one with the problem." Then you need to ask her very specific questions. Write it down as you go:
"Are you willing to continue to live together while I am working on this?"
"How long, assuming I am making progress?"
"Are you willing to spend time/go out on dates with me?"
"Will you meet with my counselor, ONE TIME, to tell your side of the story?"
I'm assuming she will say yes to at least the first question. If she doesn't, then I would suggest that you ask her to talk to a lawyer and find out what her options are.
