I talked to CW this morning. She is going out for dinner with two GFs. S15 has been gone all week and is home today. I wanted to know if it was okay with her if I did something with the boys while she is gone. (It's her night). She said it was fine etc. I even told her what movie we may see to see if she had plans to see it with the kids etc. I was telling her about an aquaintence who has cancer and is given 6 mos to live. She made the statement, "Life is too short not to be happy". Weird statement from her.
She also told me her sister was looking for someone to split a steer with and she asked if I wanted some beef. It's like she is being my mom lately.
I fell off the wagon and asked her what she was doing tomorrow night. She said she had no plans. I asked her if she wanted to do something and she replied, "I don't know". Why do I ask I had told myself I wasn't going to ask her out this week. We had a good conversation and it happened.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
I talked to CW this morning. She is going out for dinner with two GFs. S15 has been gone all week and is home today. I wanted to know if it was okay with her if I did something with the boys while she is gone. (It's her night). She said it was fine etc. I even told her what movie we may see to see if she had plans to see it with the kids etc.
That's considerate of you. Good to check. Errr...does she commonly leave the boys alone on her night?
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I was telling her about an aquaintence who has cancer and is given 6 mos to live. She made the statement, "Life is too short not to be happy". Weird statement from her.
Not at all....that's a typical statement from a person going through a MLC. They are all about "not wasting anymore time", "making every breath count", "realizing that my life is more than half-over", "Life is too short not to enjoy it."
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She also told me her sister was looking for someone to split a steer with and she asked if I wanted some beef. It's like she is being my mom lately.
Who knows? At least she's thinking about you. Friend, mother, what's next? Lover.
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I fell off the wagon and asked her what she was doing tomorrow night. She said she had no plans. I asked her if she wanted to do something and she replied, "I don't know". Why do I ask I had told myself I wasn't going to ask her out this week. We had a good conversation and it happened.
That's OK. Perhaps going a little dark will help. Let her miss you. Striking a fine balance it hard.
Let me dissect this: Did you ask her if she "wanted to do something", or did you invite her to something you already planned? If Cunningham is right, then asking her if "she wants to do something" is a little wimpy and puts the weight of the decision on her. It's not alpha male. It sounded like you were bored-lonely and NEEDed some company. It sounds a little needy. To invite her to something you want to do and have already planned, then the image is one of MC living a fun, adventurous life that he's inviting CW into. Maybe I'm over-analyzing.
Even in our better days, my wife used to hate it when I asked her on a date at the last minute or one day's notice and didn't have a specific plan.
Remember, she can't really bear the burden of her own life right now, and she certainly can't bear the burden of figuring our YOUR relationship with her. Your question gave her too much to think about.
I would have to agree with Theo - gosh i hate it when he's right! Asking her to join you in whatever plans you have made already is a great approach. My H always asks about doing something specific.. If he asked if I wanted to do "something", I'd probably say exactly what CW said - even in good times. She answered your vague question with a vague answer.
It's no biggee brother. Just one thing to help you clarify and refocus.
Kidding aside.
I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of you, MC. You've been a good friend to me. You are a great father and husband. I wish this wasn't happening to any of us.
I'm writing from work and the tears are rolling down my cheek.
"Life is too short not to be happy." Yep, I have heard that one. That's the excuse they use to go do whatever crazy thing that they do.
M 38, H 38, two sons Met 20 years ago Married 13 years Bomb: Oct, 2006 DB: Started in Dec, 2006 H moved out for 3 weeks in Mar, 2007 H back home and piecing?
