Here's the problem. When you talk to your counselor, you are trying to find the reasons for your behavior. When you relate this to your W, it sounds like excuses. You and your IC will likely put some of the blame on your W, because EVERY relationship has two people in it and no one is perfect. Your W is not ready to hear this at all.
Tell W that you recognize that you are the one with the problem, but it would help IC if W would come and tell her side directly. Agree with W that she is not the problem. But that YOU BOTH have a problem with your behavior, and you BOTH need to see the counselor in order to fix it.
If she tells you that this is NOT HER PROBLEM, and refuses to help, then STOP telling W what goes on in IC.
"You said this was for me and IC to fix. So it is between me and IC and you don't need to hear it. If you need to hear what goes on in my session, then you are welcome to come along."
