He seems to know that if he does what so many people advise here, he will only become more unhappy.
What does this mean? Is this what he believes or what you believe or what you believe he believes??
What I mean is that if CeMar keeps trying to push the relationship forward without consequences for her inaction, and she does not change, he will be more unhappy. If CeMar’s wife has some major intimacy issues, then I think his setting boundaries and working on himself will not be enough to move the marriage forward. Those things are a prerequisite for the M once she starts to grow, but I don’t think they are enough to cause her to grow. So he will be and has been frustrated.
This is NOT true. How can we say for sure WHAT will happen if Cemar grows? The only thing GUARANTEED by his growth is that Cemar will be a better person.
Sure CeMar can grow into a better person, but that still will not make him happy nor assure success with his marriage. There is a chance it could have some positive impact, but I think that with a spouse who has abuse issues, there is only so much that can be done from a passive position. The spouse MUST get into counseling and address the trauma. Otherwise the spouse can hold the relationship hostage, which seems to be what has been going on, based on CeMar's latest info about his wife.
