Congrats!!! I am so happy for you. You still sound like you are in a very good place and have finally taken that important step completely out of victimhood.
Now, just stick to your guns. And, he doesn't automatically get you back if he does (1) - (3) either. It just means that you might consider seeing him, depending where you are at that point in your live.
For now, move on. Don't wait.
Should he come around and you are open to an R with him at that point, I suggest you require personal contact that includes full disclosure with the OW and SO, complete transparency for as long as you want it, whenever you want it, a meeting with the psychiatrist to get a grip on SO's commitment to therapy and prognosis, a long engagement.
Finally, you will quit running your life so that you can fit into SO's crazy dances.
