Thanks Grace for a little calm in the middle of a crappy morning. You sound like a gentle person and your husband is lucky to have someone with your resolve and strength. I think my husband is sincere for the moment, but it was only a month ago that he was lying and acting like a jerk so it is difficult to see the man I love, although I do get glimpses of him now and then. It seems to me looking back that whenever there are stressors in his life he implodes and cannot communicate anything that is really troubling him. The thing is, I know he loves me. I know that he would never want to live the rest of his life without me. We've known one another for so many years that you become a part of each other and we have seen each other through some bad times. He's taken care of me when I had surgery and has been a really good husband at times, for long periods actually. The OW is younger but not attractive. I've always kept in shape and take care of myself. Even though she is younger than me I am not threatened by her in that way. It is the time spent on the phone confiding and sneaking around and lying. I see my C today and she is very familiar w DB so she is supportive of rebuilding and recommended the books to me. I read through DR quickly the other night and it sounds good and reasonable but ...a lot of work. I am weak now and I am doing my best to get by. I think I made things worse by accessing the cell phone statements for the past few mths. I could feel the anger just boiling up and running over as I read them. I know I've got to take care of myself emotionally and find healthy ways to deal with this. Thanks so much for the reply, it helps. Blessings, Violets
