After spending several weeks in close contact with SO, I've reached the end of ends. We'd been camping with the kids; he'd asked me & the kids to come stay at his house which we did...for several days at a time. He had been asking me "move back" and I had said no. I did need to go back though, as a sort of temperature check, before I did anything further.
He was in the hospital for about 10 days; he ended up having some kind of laser procedure done to remove scar tissue on his intestines - the doctors decided to do that first, rather than jump into surgery.
Well, back up a little to May. Supposedly OW went through his phone, found texts to both me and this other girl. SO's ex-fiance from 15 years ago, who ultimately ended up marrying one of his best friends after she found SO lying & cheating on her. So, when OW#1 found these messages, she attempted to kill both her & SO by driving her car off an interstate. Blah, blah, blah - long story short, OW broke it off with SO.
One of the times we were together I asked what happened with OW. He told me some of what happened; then played an answering machine message for me that was from his Ex-fiance - this message said "I L Y, SO, can't wait until we're together". That pretty much sums it up. Of course, this doesn't sit well with me.
Then, one of the days that I was there, SO calls me (right after he gets off air) and says he's been arrested. The police were waiting for him to come out of his work. Evidently OW#1 has re-inforced the restraining order and had him arrested for harrassing her from his hospital bed. (I've made a copy of the paerwork, just in case I need it in the future......)
So, he's got one woman calling him & telling him she loves him (who's still married, not even separated); another PO'd at him and has him arrested. On top of that, the laser surgery hasn't really made any difference in the excruciating pain he's in and he's taken off quite a few days from work, staying in bed for most of the time (while I was there the last time).
I told him I was done.
Told him I wanted nothing to do with him unless he's (1) wrapped it up with all the other women in his life (2) Started therapy with the psychiatrist I found that specializes in mood disorders and (3) Brought me a nice big rock (engagement ring, lol) Told him I wouldn't speak / email / text him and if he wanted to make arrangements to see the kids, he needed to send an email to his mother and have her forward it to me.
That's been a few days ago....he has emailed me, but I've not answered. He hasn't even bothered to call the kids.
I'm know there's more that I've not even bothered to write about...why bother? It all adds up to the same thing. He's in dire need of some serious help. And unless he gets his act together, he's going to lose everything. When he was in the hospital, I had an hour conversation with his boss (his "boss" is a very close personal friend of ours, we've known him for 8 years)...anyway, he said that with all the time SO's been taking off, there's going to come a time when the company just lets him go. So, his job is in jeopardy; his finances are a wreck (he had one of his vehicles repo'd, but paid and got it back last month)....his personal life is in shambles; his medical issues aren't resolved yet. But, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
So, with everything, I'm done. This has been a long time coming. And, surprisingly enough, I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. I feel more relief than anything else.
