Is there a point where you just say "maybe this is too much to deal with"? Dealing for months with a person who was so dissconnected from me and hurting me so and wondering what was wrong to having someone constantly hugging and telling you how much they love you seems surreal. IT's like torture. "I don't love you, I love you, I can't stop talking to her, I don't want anyone but you". How can someone change from one month to the next so much. I was in survival mode and then the big shock hit and now everything is ok with him. He's happy to still be here. I'm not so sure. He's sleeping in the guest room and last night was talking about getting away somewhere so we could be alone and reconnect. I think he is in lala land and doesn't realize what has happened to me. I would rather chew tin foil while sitting in pond scum than to be alone in a hotel making sweet talk with him. He bought me a new bike and wants to go for bike rides now, and he wants to join a bowling league again and well you get the picture. He's making plans for the great life were going to have and I am having nightmares and can't sleep at night from all the crap that was dumped on my head again. Tahnsk for letting me vent.
