I still fluctuate between wanting to walk away and wanting to save things.
I think my center most feeling is to focus on the kids and finances as suggested. Keep being there for my kids, and really focus on getting the financial issues squared away, using Dave Ramsey's plan. Really working hard at that and just totally detaching from her and her issues.
W was online yesterday when I got home, looking for tickets for her trip up to see OW in August. Wonder where the money will come from? If asked, and W isn't working, I will suggest that OW pay the freight.
Last night S14 had friends over for a PS2 night. S14 said I could sleep in his room so they could have the den; big screen. LOL. No problem, actually felt great to sleep in a bed. D10 and 6 were getting set up to watch a DVD with W in our room. I was making my bed in S14's room. Girls came in, asking lots of questions, re; why don't you sleep in your bed any more? etc. I told D10 I was going to watch something else in here, as they were watching a girly movie with mom. D10 and 6 laughed. Then hopped onto the bed with me and hung out for a while. We were laughing and really having a great time. For a minute I thought how awesome this would be, no W drama, no issues, just hanging with my children. W came in, told me she was ready to start DVD in our room. I carried the girls to our bed and kissed them goodnight. W asked what I was doing, D10 spoke up and said dad doesn't want to watch a girly movie, D10 and 6 started cracking up again, for some reason this was really making them laugh.
Of course W takes this as some negative, shakes her head and says whatever. I ignored her reaction, told the kids goodnight, told W I was going to try to watch Ghost Rider one more time, (I fell asleep, movie totally sucks), saying it in as upbeat a manner as I could without coming off as a late night infomercial.
After I got in bed I thought about the questions from both D10 and 6 regarding where and why I'm sleeping at night. I'm proud of myself for not saying anything to W about that. I really wanted to mention this to her. Yet was able to just let it go. It would only be to manipulate/guilt her into something. Trying to get her to see how difficult this is on them, particularly after seeing everything starting to normalize, now back to this. It's a rollercoaster for them as well.
