I may have answered my own question. Allow me to elaborate:
My wife had said on the day she had the breakdown, renting the apartment, that she never thought she'd be one of those women, meaning divorced. On the few occasions (2-3?) that she had opened up to me a bit she stated that she had never intended for us to divorce, even while she was having the affair. In a argument (as that was usually about the only time she would actually say anything) she said that divorce was not an option. So in my humble opinion it still sounds more like a mid-life crisis. I do often though, feel unbeliavable compassion for her, when I think of and try to undersand what she may be feeling. That is why I don't understand why she has been, for a lack of another word, so rotten through out this. I often think she is a really hurt, angry and disappointed little girl. When I see her as that, I have more patience with her. But... As you've read above, WTF?
