Thank you all for your comments, I appreciate hearing from the community, it really helps.
I read a book called "Bold Love" by Dan Allender. Kinda an eye opening book. It was referred to in "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. It talked about loving evil people, foolish people and normal people. Ouch. That was really painful as I started to see my wife a bit differently. I'd never thought of her as a "bad" person. Ouch. I was starting to wonder who she may really be. I just thought of her as hurting and angry. Had grown up in a pretty bad environment. "Chaos" as she called it. That was never a word I'd ever associated with her, evil. I talked to my couselor about it. "Foolish" I could fathom, but evil? I had to think about that. And that's been hard. Evil. Damn. Really. Damn. I've been thinking that her problems, are and have been way hugher than I had ever imagined. I'm really starting to understand what is meant, when it is said, that it's not about "you", but really about "them". Ouch and damn again. You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make them drink, even if you salt the oats. I now feel that I understand why at the end of all the books they say that the work you do is really about and for you.
