That kind of sucks about D talking about OM's house, I feel for you. I guess one thing will be that R will get very real very quickly , and what I mean is the day to day stuff will get involved with the R , they will get grumpy and they will fight etc. If you realy want your W back ( given the age of your kids this is still an admirable and achievable goal ) you need to become the OM in thier R. From what you have learned via DB'ing and by keep interactions with your W as positive as you can you will start attracting your W back slowly.
Picture this , She gets up , OM has left his socks on the floor and the bathrooms a mess , hes not looking so great and then goes and stinks up the bathroom , theres dishes in the sink but he just sits and reads a paper , unshaven and unshowered. then she comes around to pick up the kids and GD's house is tidy , GD's looking a million bucks is all smiles and helpfull , compliments her on how good shes looking , then excuses himself because he has a big day of fun planned.
