I've been in forced darkness for these 3 months, I've now seen my W 3 times in all that time. I've been told the time away from communication is good. I've never believed it and I don't now, even less so after yesterday.
The time apart has allowed her to get deeper and deeper into her sadness and fear and hurt. I can't be there to comfort her or let her know I care. SO, she goes to other people and I'm out, completely out. she has literally made her self believe that she does not need me at all. Not only does she not need me, but she does not love me either.
Does anyone really think there is any coming back from that?
YES
Really? I'd love to believe it. I have faith that good things CAN happen, which is why I won't give up, but if there is NO LOVE, and I'm not talking about ILYBINILWY, I'm talking about I DON'T LOVE YOU! Where do you start? She won't talk to me, so we can't be friends. She thinks we will be after the divorce, but somehow we can't be before hand. And now I find out, she thinks I'm holding up the divorce by not signing papers???? We don't have any papers to sign. So, if I had these supposed papers and signed them we'd be over! There would have been no visits with the pastor, there would have been no visit with the counselor, nothing! She is still as pissed as ever and it's even more engrained now than it was 3 months ago.
Still think there's coming back from this?
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
