Thinking about you, Nikki. I know the roller coaster you're talking about and the distance you're noticing between you as you detach. It can feel like a no-win situation, I know. Try to remember that you have to save yourself first though. It might help to put some emphasis on the "lovingly" part of detaching. Not to say you need to go out of your way for your H right now, but in order to TRULY detach we have to "let go" and that's hard to do if we aren't choosing to really "love" them and are instead putting our own R needs/wants before that. Hope that makes sense. You can empower yourself. Remind yourself you deserve to be loved. Try to set him free again. Here's a link you might like right now... http://www.coping.org/selfesteem/tools/letgo.htm
Good work with your goals. You are doing great. Keep focusing on loving YOU. You are loved! HUGS! f21
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
I know the roller coaster you're talking about and the distance you're noticing between you as you detach. It can feel like a no-win situation, I know. Try to remember that you have to save yourself first though. It might help to put some emphasis on the "lovingly" part of detaching. Not to say you need to go out of your way for your H right now, but in order to TRULY detach we have to "let go" and that's hard to do if we aren't choosing to really "love" them and are instead putting our own R needs/wants before that. Hope that makes sense. You can empower yourself. Remind yourself you deserve to be loved. Try to set him free again. Here's a link you might like right now... 
