I think you're right. I wanted to take time to really process all of my feelings to figure out what was really going on and to think about how to talk to H without him feeling like he needed to fix something or "make" me happy. He knows I've been working on something, and he's curious. I asked him last night if he wanted me to tell him, even though none of it is his responsibility to fix....he said no, but I wonder. I don't want him to think I'm hiding anything.
So...I have two options as I see it now. I can wait until MC next Thursday, or I can just face my fear (not such a big fear anymore) and talk to H on my own. In my mind, before we can leave MC, we both have to be able to do this.
I think the way you phrased it is perfect...hey, this was our past, we both were in a lot of pain, let's work together to make our future together good.
The last obstacle then, in my mind, is trusting that H won't hold onto things like he did in the past. He just judged and convicted me without ever talking to me. I've learned how not to do that, and I've gotten really good at addressing things with him. He doesn't say anything about me though...and while I'd love to believe I am just fabulous and never do anything irritating, I know that's not true. So, I guess I'm waiting for him to not walk on eggshells himself.
At some point we're going to have to let go of our MC as a crutch and just trust each other...and that's scary!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
