In need of help II

[789]

Well it is weird that he is always the one to bring it up, maybe not a bad sign.

I have, yes bad, been the one to bring us up 99% of the time, even though it is not often. She does not try to detour it, but also doesn't talk back much about it. She has not given me a sign saying she is over since she first said divorce. Her last real talk was that she was thinking and that was 2 months ago. In that time she has made the comments during different talks, "I have no plans to file for divorce", "we are not legally separated or divorced". She still invites me to dinner a couple times a week, down from a few times a week but schedules haven't been working out. She still asks me to bring the laundry. So all her actions towards me and comments aren't actually negative, not sure what they are.

My son is with me for the next week plus. He is always asking me questions and I answer. Well last night when his mom called they talked, then he always has to go out on the porch to talk to her. That is his question time, she says he does it at her place too. Well I can still hear him talk and he once again asked "mommy, is there a chance that we will all live together again?" well he kept talking and then came in all excited that his mom said "yes honey, I guess so." I know that does not mean anything, but WTF, why tell him that, why not "I don't know" something, anything but getting his hopes up over and over.

[sadhearted]

I'm hoping but don't want to get my hopes to high because of days like today where there really is no contact...

Yeah my H isn't bringing up D or anything just when he first left. All that sounds good. I mean if she's still doing your laundry I don't think she's done. What W after telling her H no is going to keep doing his laundry. She'd be through and making you fend for yourself.

Ah see another good thing I think. She's not saying I can't, or being negative. Yeah probably more nuetral of an answer for your S but it's not negative and maybe she knows he's going to tell you what she says??? My H was telling my son at first I don't know then last I heard anything it was I'm afraid to come home.. Now WHY would you tell your kid that?

[789]

Ah see another good thing I think. She's not saying I can't, or being negative. Yeah probably more nuetral of an answer for your S but it's not negative and maybe she knows he's going to tell you what she says??? My H was telling my son at first I don't know then last I heard anything it was I'm afraid to come home.. Now WHY would you tell your kid that?

I know she is not being negative with him, just tell him "I don't know" that is not giving a real answer, but it does not get him down or up. "I guess so" is actually the same answer but to him it is a great deal more.

I am surprised your son didn't laugh at him for saying he is afraid. Mine would be like, "nothing to be afraid of, I will protect you" or "afraid of mommy, your bigger than her."
Joking aside, telling your kid your afraid just sounds funny coming from an adult to a child.

[sadhearted]

Yeah it's the kids that hurt worse in all this. Need to scream again.

Yeah I don't know what he said to my H but when he was telling me the next thing he said was isn't that just crazy?

Yeah he should have come up with something better but I look at it and go well at least it wasn't I can't. I don't know.

[789]

I want to say, not that you can or will. If all his problem is now, go over, grab his shirt collar and drag him home and lock him inside.

If that works, convince my wife to do it too.

[sadhearted]

Boy I would love too.

You have no idea how hard it was to sit over there at his place and not say something or touch his hand or leg just to see.. Oh I did pat his chest when I was leaving. Course now today I've heard about 2 sentences out of him. Hmmmm....

Gotta wonder what this out of town trip is going to be like....

[sadhearted]

ARRRGGGG!!!!!! (nope don't feel better)

After not hearing from him for most of the day he tells me he MIGHT come by later ( out of his way) to get his electronics stuff since he know has his own space. He can spread it all out and not have to clean it up except for when the kids come over.....

Oh yeah I should say the only thing he took with him when he left was the clothes he needed. Still has everything else here.

Now I could think hey he's coming out of his way to get something to entertain himself. He just saw us last night and maybe again tonight. Good. Or I can think he's slowly getting his stuff out. Bad.

Need to stop (picturing big red stop sign).

Are we all just having bad days or what?

[789]

Yes

[789]

Actually I am wondering if some terrorists put something in the water supply around the country. Seems everyone is in a gloom mood today.

[sadhearted]

Don't think that's it. I haven't had any water today.

Probably a good thing I have kids. Otherwise I'd jump in the van and just start driving and not come back.