Spoke to both Boys but they are not ready to talk much yet so will not push them. They have realy picked up thier act and are helpful around the home. Also keeping me company in the evenings ( taking turns I think ),.
W was at our house yesterday to pick up D but gone by time I got there. Had prepared Dinner for us all again.
I went into town yesterday and got a new jacket and some nice jeans , back in on Friday when I will look for some new shirts as well. W has been looking her best when she calls at home following me being dressed up when I went to her place, so now I am going to pick that up with a fresh look.
Ohhhh, Dave. I'm so sorry I missed the past few days w/you! But it sounds good on so many levels. (And YAY! about W considering C'ing!)
Can I tell you, tho? This made me SO happy for you:
Quote:
I am absolutely sure that this is due to DB'ing . It may not have saved our M but it has saved our R. <snip>
I am actualy happy .
You deserve to be happy! You are a great guy.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
Those are kind words. W seems quite happy since she left so I dont think she has given any more thought to C'ing.
I was thinking tonite what it would take for me to consider her coming back? After 2 A's I dont think I want to set myself up for a 3rd . W will need to be prepared to fully commit to our M , something that did not happen after the first A. I dont think this is anything she will be prepared to do in the near future. I guess the doors closed that bit further.
So do you think you need to redefine your goals, or are they where you want them to be? How about your strategies and plan to get W to want to fully committ?
I got so far behind on you - sorry about that. WOW, what a rollercoaster of a week you've had.
I think you're doing really, really well. I bet the positives from your W have a lot to do with the pressure being off (of both of you).
As you know I'm kinda back on my own coaster right now - but remembering the first weeks and month or so after separation, it reminded me a lot of what you're describing. We had a lot of really hopeful, positive times together - followed not long after by H really detaching. It felt like a major rejection, like "What about those great times we just had??" - so just try to keep your expectations low. You've still got a long ways to go. But I am thrilled for how well things are going for you, and it sure sounds positive.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Oh and - about what GD said. This is also a good time to think about what YOU need if your W does in fact recommit, and make sure you ask for it if the time comes.
(major regret of mine, as you know.. I even contemplated doing this but never quite did - I should have)
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Thanks for stepping by. yes I do need to rethink my goals right now. They have certainly changed from saving my M at all costs to Our M can be saved if we can achieve this ...... ?
I just have to work out what this is.
Nikki thanks for letting me know about the detachment its so valuable to have people that have been through this stuff ahead of us to learn from.
I have a few thoughts for you but post them on your thread later.
But it sounds good on so many levels. (And YAY! about W considering C'ing!)