Unfortunately, I have no advice. I have noticed my wife does the same thing when I drop off/pick up the kids and ignore her. Most of the time I take the kids in and sit and visit with her for a little while.
If I just drop the kids off and leave she'll call me and ask if anything's wrong. Or, sometimes she comes running out to the car before I can leave the driveway.
My wife is the one unable to quit bringing up the past too even though she accuses me of being the one who always throws the past in her face. I am saying, I know we can work on this. She likes to quote Dr. Phil - "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."
I wish I had some advice for you but if I did, I'd know what to do in my case too. I guess the only thing we can do is continue to show them that we have changed and hope that one day they see it and trust that it's for real.
By the way, that quote that she texted you is absolutely great. It couldn't be more true.
