Hopeless and Gracey, Are ya'll country music fans? I particulary like George Strait's song "She Let Herself Go". The song where the H leaves her and she begins to make a wonderful new life for herself. It makes me smile and think there is life out there. I heard it today and thought of our situations.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I can relate to that song. I believe that is what's happening. I am doing all these new things with my life, that I might have not done otherwise. When I was with H, I was trying to figure out how we can make the finances work, so I can be a stay at home mom. Now, I obviously cannot do that, but..it's okay, because I am enjoying my job, I am going back to school, and I am creating this new fitness/health class to teach. I have been training like crazy for the marathon and now I am going to do the 3-Day Breast Cancer Walk. I'm not sure if I would have had the motivation for all of this before, it may sound crazy, but sometimes I think that things happen for a reason.
Yoyo, I am a country music fan, and I can definately relate to that song too. Actually, I can relate to too many country songs. I told my fil way back in March that "I was letting myself go". He said why would you do that you are just fine the way you are. I said if H comes back, he is going to be coming back to a whole new me.
Gracey,
Quote:
I'm not sure if I would have had the motivation for all of this before, it may sound crazy, but sometimes I think that things happen for a reason.
I feel the same way. I have been to new restaurants...on vacation...etc. and I wouldn't have done those things if I was with my H. I lived my life for him before, and now I am living for myself. I think a situation like this makes you look at life in a whole new way. It takes you out of auto-pilot and puts you back in the driver's seat. I keep telling myself that things do happen for a reason. Hopefully, I can look back and see the reason. Take care.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I understand I too lived and revovled my life around H. I lost track of me. Now I am really liking getting to know me & my extra time w/ the girls. H always put himself first and went & did where he wanted to go w/ out any concern of anyone else. I guess that is another reason it was easy to cheat (selfish). If he wanted something he would go for it no matter the price.
The other day H was saying how he wanted to be honest at his work and give back his bonus $ on somethings he sold,but since the customer was not satisfied he had to take it back. H likes to be the descent person at work. He puts such afront over there & one of his coworkers whom I talked to absolutely could not beleive he was doing this to me "it's not like him". I was in one of my sarcastic moods & told him honest person??? Why couldn't you be that person before you cheated?
H always put himself first and went & did where he wanted to go w/ out any concern of anyone else. I guess that is another reason it was easy to cheat (selfish). If he wanted something he would go for it no matter the price.
Are you talking about my H? It sounds just like him. I wonder if this is an underlying characteristic of the WAS's on here. My mil actually said that she always knew her son was selfish, but she never thought he could be so cruel. Do you think that these a$$es of husbands that we all have can change? My ils always said that this was either going to break my H or make a true man out of him. Right now, he's just broken.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Our H's must know each other, because mine is the same exact way as yours. It is crazy for the things that they have done and only think about themselves. They really are pieces of work, aren't they? Remember, they have only made us better people. I told my H thanks for what he is done, because I like who I am. He was real silent, and didn't know how to take it.
I was out with friends, and I don't know what overcame me, but I text H and said, "Too bad you gave up, we had a beautiful family and it could have been saved." I know he wouldn't really care about this and honestly when I woke up the next morning, I regretted it. I just felt like, great, he was going to think that I still want him and in reality I don't. I just don't want him with her. Anyway, he text me back and said, Pleas keep it to the kids, I am happy now and this can affect my relationship. AAGH, I wish I could have reached in the phone and slapped him. Excuse me...."my relationship" did you forget that we are still married and that "your relationship" was and still is an affair. He is so dumb. So, I text him back and said, "That I know how it sounds, and I didn't mean it that way, I have no regrets, get over yourself and your relationship." That was that. Then, I saw him at my MIL, when I went to pick up the babies(the next day). I showed up early, so I ended being there at the same time as him, and of course as usual, he always checks me out when I am around. He's disgusting. However, I did keep it as civil as possible and asked if he was going to see the Dr. about his sore neck and back (he was in a minor fender bender), he said yea, and I told him that this was a good idea. All was decent until yesterday when I went to pick up the kids, he had some of my items there waiting for me. I always get a little sad when this happens. I guess it puts things into reality again. Oh yeah, I also had a breakdown on Sunday. I cried so hard for the first time in weeks (this is good) and just kept asking myself and God "why?" I guess it didn't help that I was looking at pictures of the babes from when they were first born. So.....that is my book for the night. Thanks for reading and always supporting!
I have not been on here for about 2-3 months. Unbelievable! Well, I finally came to terms with the fact that I am better off without my H. He has some serious issues and time has let me become a better person. My H lies are still uncontrollable and I try to avoid him as much as possible. At one point, he was coming over to my house or calling again, "trying to be my friend" but I figured that this was because he was off again with the OW or they had an argument. A week after all of his sincerity, he was rude to me and I thought, I don't have to take this anymore and I don't want to be on his rollercoaster. I am choosing to finally get off the ride....so I did. I told him that I don't need his friendship, I just need him to be a father to the kids and that I am completely finished with him and to let me live my life. I told him that I have friends and family that love and care about me and would never do the things that he has done to me. I basically, told him that there is no room in my life for him. I reminded him that there will be a point that I may be able to be civil with him, only for the kids, but that is all in my time. I've had it with his rudeness and telling me that I really should respect the OW because she is a part of the kids lives....he is so absolutely crazy! So, I have continued to focus on myself, I just finished being a part of the Relay of Life for the American Cancer Society and I am now getting ready to walk in the Breast Cancer 3-day (donatations welcome ) in two weeks. I feel awesome...I read a quote that completely belongs to me and other woman in our situations...."I am not what I was, I am the woman who has awoken." Of course, you men can change the woman to man. All I know is I look great and feel great and that is what matters.
Gracey, It's so good to hear from you. Yoyo and I were wondering about you. Sounds like you and I are in the same boat. My D was finalized almost 2 months ago. Glad to hear you are focusing on yourself and moving on with your life. We are going to be okay...hell, we are going to be great before it's all said and done. Here's to our new lives.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
) in two weeks. I feel awesome...I read a quote that completely belongs to me and other woman in our situations...."I am not what I was, I am the woman who has awoken." Of course, you men can change the woman to man. All I know is I look great and feel great and that is what matters.