1) Are BOTH men's and women's needs equally important in a relationship? Yes. This is the BIGGEST problem. Most people (and they may not relalize it) actually elevate the women's needs above the man's, or they dismiss the male needs all together. The biggest hurdle us guys have to face is this general preception among women that THEIR needs are the REAL needs of marriage, sex is a minor thing. Also, to be equally important means that they must be unconditionally met. As soon as you set conditions, you have ELEVATED one persons needs above the other. 2) For a marriage to be on solid ground BOTH partners need to be getting their needs met and meeting the others needs? After thinking about this, I would say no. Heck the majority of people that stay married for life are in this boat. Perfect example would be my wifes parents, they clearly don't meet each others needs, but they will never divorce. So their marriage is solid (its not going to end), but their is not much good about it. In fact, if PM is right, MOST couples that stay married for life are in this boat, only the people that HAVE PM's get beyond having a crappy marriage. 3) Do you believe that these needs need to be completely and fully met for each other at ALL times? Of course not, why would anyone think this. Much of the time, yes. Showing good effort to TRY and meet needs, yes. 4) Do you know what your wife's communication needs are? If so, how do you know her needs – did she tell you or have you assumed? We have talked aobut it. She likes to talk, as long as it is not romantic or physical in any way. But at the same time, she does NOT want to be too close, she thinks that is weird for couples to be best friends. So she likes to talk, but she has a highly restrictive comfort zone as to HOW intimate that talk can be (she has been this way all along). She even commented one time that she likes me IN the room with her, like to watch TV, but she does not like to be close to me. Physical closeness makes her uncomfortable.
(To be clear I do not view men and women like this) I apologize if I missed that. So how do you view men? I see myself as completely normal, I have read the books and how they describe male needs and I pretty much FIT them. So what is the real male, and what does he need from marriage?
