1. Did you explicitly agree to move out? It doesn't sound like you did. It doesn't matter what she thinks or wants about you moving out. YOU ARE NOT MOVING OUT.
2. Don't worry about where you stand with her. Don't have this ridiculous "check the relational temperature" conversations. You're hot, she's cold. That's what it's like at this stage of the game. Don't discuss it unless she brings it up. Remember don't initiate R conversations for the next 2 weeks. STOP asking her to talk. You see, you pursued her and she shuts you down. Stop the pursuit. Let her come to you and "talk." If you initiate conversation, talk about other things: your grandchild, your new hobbies, etc.
3. Go see a lawyer this week. Squeeze it in to your schedule. Know about your rights. Pay in cash. Don't pay with credit card or check. Questions to ask your lawyer:
What are grounds of divorvce in your state? Is it a no fault state?
Does it matter who files first?
Does committing adultery have an affect on settlement of property or child custody?
Can she legally leave with the kids if you oppose it?
Can she throw you out without legally divorcing you?
You get the gist....
4. Good man...pick up that phone. It's your freaking phone. Make him worried about calling you. He got scared. He knows you are not afraid. The power slowly shifted in your favor.
Next time, if he doesn't answer, ask him, "Is this OM?" You know his name, right? If he answers, "yes", you can say, "May I help you?" He'll panic. He'll know that YOU know, and realize you aren't afraid of him or their relationship. He'll tell your wife you answered and SHE'LL FREAK OUT. She'll ask you what you talked about, and you'll say, "All I asked him was, May I help you?'" She'll see you are not afraid. Slowly the power will shift more in your favor.
5.You see, right now, by being afraid of losing your wife, she has all the power. When you lose your fear, you take back the power you have given her. Another way to get back power is to enjoy your life. This will confuse her -- she won't feel like she can control you anymore. Another way to get back power is to refuse to move out.
