Man I feel for you. In my two cents, and that is about what it is worth...
I think your taking it hard, I don't now your support or IC sitch, but I think it would help. It seems like everyone is holding tongues and going through the motions, and that is better than constant fighting. I guess the cup is half full.
What I really mean is that only you can make yourself happy. Others do actions and they have an effect on us, but how we handle that effect is going to alter our feelings. So make a commitment to yourself that you will be you, and your happy with you. That is all you can do, and she will either want to be with the happy your or not, but in the end your happy with yourself.
Also, I agree there have to be some lines and in some places you have to take a stance. Thats not to say your not going to play nice, but that there are rules. I had a good one with W today and when you get a sec you should check it, I think it really turned her.
I know the first time my W saw my mother for a drop off of S, my mother said W kept about a 20 foot space between. Said that W seemed scared and hesitant. I have had long talks with parents and family about how to treat her and what to do and not do. Those interactions are harder for women then men, cause they actually men something.
Side note: Actually made me think of something funny. My father, when I was 14, decides to have the "sex" talk, I guess he never checked with mom, since that happened years ago. And I quote, "Do you know what your dick is for?" "Yep" "Good keep it in your pants and never get married and you'll be happy!" Haha, still give him crap for that today.
