I can certainly imagine what you would say, and you would almost definitely be right. Ask yourself this, though: Could you just let her go? Could you really?
At least I have put some thought into going about it in a way that gives me an outside chance of talking her out of it, while still allowing her to save face. Let's just hope it doesn't ever have to come to that.
Which brings me to the update: Whew, what a day. Started out really conflicted about tonight/tomorrow, and whether I should bring S back to MIL or have my mom watch him. Worried about S's response, but also about what is best for him (and all of us) in the long run. Spoke to a friend at work (same one I saved from buying that rolling hunk of junk yesterday), and she thought I may be underestimating S. Made sense to me, so I went ahead and set it up with my mom, and considered it a go.
Spoke to MIL and S at the usual 10am call, S sounded excited about seeing me, MIL just sounded weird. I was upbeat, thanked her, and told her I would see her after work (but did not discuss details of visit vs. overnight).
Had a decent day at work, though one of my calls was right down the street from former OM's. Did good, did not stop at "his" Starbucks or drive past his apartment, things I admit I have done in the past. Still haven't met him. Probably better that way, though I am not sure if that is for him or for me.
Anywho, called W as I was leaving work, expecting VM, she actually answered. Actually caught me in the middle of a real belly laugh (my partner and I were cutting up on our way out), so I guess I should score that on my column. Kept it brief but upbeat, told her I was going to go ahead and keep S for the night and my mom would watch him tomorrow. She offered to pick him up after work, and I counter offered to bring him back. Noncommital either way, but I think she will be picking him up (more on that later). She also said she would talk to MIL and have her pack a bag for him.
Now, here's the part that should have been in an Akira Kurosawa film. Got to MIL's to find that SIL was there as well. S didn't seem real upbeat, but who could blame him (tension, reunion grief, pure fatigue, etc...). I didn't take it personally. MIL was real sketchy, but managed to hold her tongue (something that surprised me inside, but I was nothing but smiles and best friends on the outside). She gave me his "bag", the absolute minimum. Whatever, I got more than enough stuff here for him. Just showed gratitude in the appropriate amount and kept smiling. SIL was talking about car trouble, threw some lines about her and her hubby (friend of mine once upon a time, who knows now), most likely as a jab but maybe not. Didn't matter, I was smooth as silk. Unruffled. As we were walking out, SIL commented on my weight loss (she hasn't seen me since Easter), and got the response "Well, you look great! How much have you lost?" She really did look good, too, but I think it kind of knocked her off kilter. Again, who knows?
Got clear without incident, got S in the truck, whole 'nother boy. Mentioned my mom would be coming to "play" with him tomorrow, and he got really excited. Bless his heart.
Had a great night with him, made sure he understands tomorrow's program. I do not expect it to go totally smoothly, but I know we will make it through. I've cancelled all my out-service apps for tomorrow so I can stay at the shop (plenty to do there anyway), a mere 15 minutes from home, and I am planning on bringing a happy meal home for lunch. I know it's gonna go fine.
Good night call, W sounded so/so, and S did an abrupt nosedive as son as he got on the phone. Probably the same thing I saw when I got to MIL's, but still scared me a little. Got on the phone with W, reassured her that all is going well and will tomorrow. Also made sure that she knew she can call to talk to him during the day. She was hesitant, and asked if my mom would be okay with that (she has not had any contact with anyone on "my side" since this started). I told her of course, to which she responded "Well, it will probably be more awkward for me than for her". Fat chance.
My response? "Aw, I believe in you. I know you can do it." She then said (after a pause) that she would pick him up on her way "home" (still gets me), and I asked for some update during the day of when that would be. Wished her good night, that was it.
I really want to go and catch up on Nomo and Atlas, but I just can't tonight. I hope all is well, but I'm spent.
Thanks for listening, WC (Relationship Samurai, level 6)
