I read your sitch every time I am out here. Not sure how much I can contribute. But here goes:
CW is definately confused. I feel she thought she knew what she was doing moving out and moving on with her life but then YOU messed up her plans (as all good DBers do!). She is starting to see the MC she fell in love with so long ago - at least pieces of what was there. This is how my H was - in one breath he'd say he wants to D and then he'd say we always would be friends/buddies. He finally realized as I was pulling away he did not want to lose that friendship. We have been best friends for over 20 yrs now - so hard to let that go.
I think you are doing awesome - you are moving at a MUCH better pace than I did. Remember my H came back (supposedly) in March only 12 days after moving to the apt - but it was premature. As soon as OW started up again he was sucked back in. This time he is having zero contact - no phone, TM or emails back from him. This does not mean she has not stopped but it is slowing down. She now knows he is back at home - so she only sent him an email yesterday - first contact attempt since 7/4. I finally realize that my H had to be the one to want to end it completely. I have stopped putting his feelings before mine and this has LURED him back in (Theoism). I am letting him make more decisions with our R and letting him pursue me - even with him home it is still hard.
Keep up what you are doing - we all tend to want what we cannot have and if CW fears you are moving on and happy without her she begins to doubt her choices. I feel you are getting frustrated with your timeline but that YOU CANNOT CONTROL!!! Work on what you can control and things will fall into place at their own pace! It will all blow up in your face if you rush it - trust me I so thought we were done - he seemed so sure. Yet if I would have rushed out to file he would not be at home today.
Keep at the small attempts at physical contact - you don't want CW thinking you are moving on w/o her. Be careful NOT to pursue though - this is a fine line and you are doing great at it.
I think you should re read your postings again (from the start) - I remember an MC at work one Saturday in FEB and you were sooooo down then. Just think of how far your have come!
Keep it up - you are becoming the guru!!
Happy Tuesday!
HB
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
No, I mean the small touches of the arm, back and hand...just slight almost if by accident...like when you were first dating! HB
When you do that kind of touch it's called 'anchoring'. Especially if you do it during a positive experience. It connects a 'touch' with a 'feeling'. A very good thing to do.
Reading over your sitch it looks like you and I are at about the same point. My W has not moved out but we are basically as she puts it” Room mates". But I can see the tide is changing. I am to at the point of trying out the 'anchoring' touches. I know it's hard not to want things to go faster. But WE need patients. Good luck buddy Let’s you and me show THEO what we are made of. And I don't mean out on the prairie
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Have you told our W that if your now rooomates she needs to pay her half of the house bills???
This is what my cheating H told me when I kicked him out of the room and stopped having sex w/ him. Can you believe the nerve? He wanted me to continue sexually even after I knew about OW.
I stopped feeding him cake soon after..he got way tooo fat!
