All the claims for getting the house put totally in my name have been completed. I have started paying off what is required for me to pay to have the house be absolutely mine and keep it out of the hands of H's creditors when he declares bankruptcy. Along with the house bcoming mine, my attorney requested that my H come and get what he wants out of the house as declared in the settlement. It is all so final.
H called and he came over yesterday to start removing stuff from the garage. He knocked on the door and I was on the phone so he came in and sat down on the couch and put Snooky on his lap and petted her. It just about took everything that I had in me (including 2 AD meds) to keep from losing it right then and there. We both went out into the garage and started getting stuff sorted out and into his pickup. It was very warm and he has not been feeling well so after a while I told him that we should go inside and get some ice water and cool off because ow would not be very happy if he colapsed while he was at the house. H said, I am hardly speaking to ow anymore. No wonder he looks so awful. Ow was supposedly the love of his life according to him. She was a wonderful person yada yada yada. We worked a couple of more hours and H decided that was enough for a day that was so hot and he left.
Since he left yesterday I have been totally devastated about this being the final times we will be together doing anything. He left home to be with her and now it sounds like she may be moving out of the picture too. But he is still moving right on with his life as if nothing matters. He doesn't look happy but he insists that he is oh so happy. I know him too well after 23 years to believe that.
Is this the way it is supposed to be? Me still loving him with all my heart and him just moving right on as if we never existed? I feel like I am back to square one again. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even think straight. Everyone says "I bet you are glad that he is finally getting his stuff out of your way." NO, I am not glad, because that may means that I will never see him again. I thought I had come to grips with all of this and maybe one all of this is done and over with, I will be in control of my emotions again. I can't really be sure of that right now.
This is not the way I wanted my story to end. Well, I guess we will see each other again if we need to get the big D. So far neither of us has gone that far. My attorney told me that it is really just a formality now that all the property is divided and that we will probably not even have to appear in court as WI is a no fault divorce state.
