The opposite of "Nice Guy" isn't "jerk". It isn't about going from one extreme to the other. It isn't about becoming "not nice".
It is about becoming "integrated". The author writes, "Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one's self. An integrated man is able to embrace everything that makes him unique: his power, his assertiveness, his courage, and his passion as well as his imperfections, his mistakes and his dark side."
Not alpha. Not some hollywoodized version of masculinity.
Real. It means becoming real.
Like I said, I highly recommend it and think most of the men here would greatly benefit from reading it.
MrsNOP -
Mrs. NOP,
No doubt some men here (and some spouses of women here) fit this description, but not all. I believe that there are genuinely decent men who get into relationships with selfish women, and they are unhappy because of the resulting imbalances that exist because of that selfishness.
I try to keep a sense of balance in my life, I take care of my needs, my kids needs, and my wife's needs in about the same proportion. Not out of sense of resentment, guilt, or obligation, it's something I like to do. Ideally that's the way it should work, both spouses contributing and happy with it, but it seems like it's always one person taking advantage of the more easy going self-reliant one to some degree. If this gets out of control, then you have big problems.
