WAW, see that you are focused on having some fun. Keep it up.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
The Lizard King sounds like another great idea for a tat -- I hate you guys (I'm just going to copy the both of you! ). The new Doors lead singer is a little older, but pretty much has the same mannerisms, hair, and definitely the voice (it is way eerie!). It gave me goosebumps through the whole concert!
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Well I hope my H figures out the do's and starts avoiding the don'ts sooner than later. Very difficult for me to keep being optimistic. I am crossing my fingers that this does not turn into a disaster!
Me too!
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Friday night is the New Riders of the Purple Sage. You seem to like music from the 60's & 70's. Maybe you are familiar with them? Jerry Garcia was a member for a while.
I'm actually not familiar with them, though I am a big classic rock buff (Led Zeppelin is my favorite band, but will never get that live experience ). Live Santana (seen a few times) and Live Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd) have been some of my favorite concerts too.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Thanks for checking in. No, today hasn't been very good for me. I am on edge about going to the concert tonight. I love the band but would so rather be going with someone other than H. I am very nervous about him taking this a "sign"...seems like everything I do thats not negative he jumps to the conclusion that everything is fixed which usually leads to a nasty R talk and days of hurt feelings on both sides.
Any advice you can give me? I don't want to lead him on in anyway. Wasn't sure if I should state at the beginning that I am only going because of the band etc etc. Let me know what you think.
I am seriously considering not going at all as I see this as huge backslide territory.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
seems like everything I do thats not negative he jumps to the conclusion that everything is fixed which usually leads to a nasty R talk and days of hurt feelings on both sides.
Help me out, are you going w/ a man? Sorry if I missed it. Not sure I understand the "not negative" comment. THe last part of this is actually easy, just DONT do the R talk no matter how much you are baited into it.
CVA
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
I am going with H to the concert. We had these tickets for months and I was on the fence about going. I agreed because of my love for the band. Thats why I am concerned about him getting his 'its fixed ideas".
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Oops, sorry. I say just go and have fun! How is that an "its fixed" event? It does show 2 things. 1. You can have fun 2. You are OK at having fun w/ him
I know what you are getting at. If my W wanted to go to a concert w/ me, I would think (having not been here and DBing etc) that it was all fixed. Now that you know my background, I think you can see how I would understand this pt.
I do think if there is really no physical affection shown, it shows him you are willing to "try" to be in his presence. If he pushes, set a boundary. "lets just have some fun tonight honey (or whatever you used to call him or his name). WOuld that send the wrong signal?
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
I guess I would still go since you want to, and don't worry about what H thinks it means. If he does something or says something you object to (eg, puts his arm around you or tries to hold your hand or whatever, just tell him as calmly as you can, that you're not ready for that). If he says something like "See? Isn't this great? We can have fun together?" either ignore it if you don't feel compelled to set him straight, or set him straight as gently as you can while being honest. So, you might say, "H, you know I love this band, and I am glad we got to go, but don't read too much into what my being here means for our situation. We still have many issues that need to be addressed, and going to this show together doesn't change that, ok?" Something like that. Just my 2 cetns.
Nomo
PS - I responded on my thread to your comments about the kids issues.
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
I am going to go and try to enjoy myself. See what happens, thanks for the pointers on how to gently handle any situations that may come up. Wish me luck!
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
). The new Doors lead singer is a little older, but pretty much has the same mannerisms, hair, and definitely the voice (it is way eerie!). It gave me goosebumps through the whole concert!
). Live Santana (seen a few times) and Live Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd) have been some of my favorite concerts too.