CVA - Thread 2, Hold mode

[Not Much Left]

Wow, thank you for plowing through that!

That really helps, no kidding, it really does. I know what I need to do. THe anology is perfect w/ the high-perf cars and a beautiful wife. I know you dont know me, my biggest problem is that as a man with a W who never really gave me compliments unless I asked, that wears on your self esteem. I have been very successful, in great shape, not bad looking if I do say so myself! and not really once in 17+ yrs an unsolicited compliment. So when my W came into her own so to speak, a bit threatening.

I had a very wealthy boss once who said "as soon as they know they can take 1/2 and dont need you, its over" or something like that. That thought has literally stuck w/ me for 10 yrs and comes out as this insecure, clinging loser!

OK, so I have neck surgery in Jan, quite an ordeal. I walk into my surgeon who says "wow man, you did it, your fused!" Then, totally unsolicited he says "so, how are you...no, I mean how are you..." I tell him and he says, "yeah, when you originally came in here, I knew what you were going through w/ 4 kids, work, W etc but now your fixed, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and show your W the man she fell in love with" Incredible insight from someone who barely knew me, other than ripping open my neck and screwing me back together!!!

So, long way of saying CVA is back, physically and my PMA is pretty darn good for all this in past 6 mos. I know my W was waiting for me to get better before dropping the bomb and when selfish CVA was out during recovery it did not help either.

Sunny, question for you. My W is SO bottled up and always has been, my C said, after meeting her, that my issues (anger, controlling) may not have even mattered in terms of shutting her off, she is shut off naturally. He even went so far to say to me yesterday that "you just may not be meant to be in a M" - WTF??? I failed to mention that yesterday and maybe why I am in the state I am in right now. I know he is sort of led by my thoughts on the matter, "paying for everything while she lives her life" and the convo came back around eventually to the fact that she really never said anything like it is over.

What should I do with this??? Should I go back to him. My W says "I like him?" Maybe my one shot at getting into a Cs office together with her... I definitely need some thought, prayer and advice.