Thanks OT. I understand what you mean. I do think it's important for me to tell him what they are, primarily because one major problem I think we both had was not communicating our needs our boundaries effectively (or for that matter not even really defining them, but especially communicating them). I can't fix that in H, but I can fix it in myself. I feel like writing them down and communicating them to H are both big steps in the right direction to fixing that about me. Hope that makes sense.
And I completely get what you're saying about why. I like Care's idea of asking him (only once and only after I've clearly expressed everything in writing) to think about that question for himself. But I don't need to know the answer - it doesn't really matter that much.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread