Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Trixi]

I think you've handled things pretty well.. you've dealt with his insanity in a reasonable way.

This turns my stomach, BUT he says that if he meets someone that he feels a connection with and they want to have sex, he will do it. He isn't moving out with the intention to meet a woman, but if he does....

if he wants to live by "dating" rules... then give him want he wants. Tell him that he may not care if YOU screw someone, and HE may not want to know about it... but you want to know if someone YOU are dating, is screwing someone else. Because at that point, you would no longer wish to date them.

if you're really, REALLY sure he's not already screwing someone... you might want to hold off on actually telling him this, until you've had a few dates.

Telling him this, is going to be a "negative". I think you might wnat to build up some "positive" buffer points before hitting him with that.

I agree with you there. He really, truly does not want to think of me with someone else. I also think that I won't do anything with anyone else because I believe in the santity of marriage. He is probably right. But I feel like he should believe that he is wrong about that point so that he has some fear put into him.

He saw that we were starting to slip into our same old habits.

bad habits, or good habits?
is he scared of actually enjoying positive habits with you?
(sounds familiar, if so. sigh. wilful destruction of positives between you. )

Ultimately, bad habits. We were starting to go along like nothing was wrong. Which couldn't be further from the truth. Of course, I think getting coffee delivered to a person and getting snuggles and rubs is a "good" habit, but it was leading to the "bad" habits of the same old crappy dynamic.