Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Trixi]

MaxP,
I read thru a lot of your threads. I am so similar to you and my H is very similar to your W.
I have the hardest time organizing and so I have tons of "stuff" and boxes to sort thru. I figure that both H and my stuff is choking us, and if I have to move I won't want to move all this carp. And if I don't have to move (because he comes back) then it will be a much better house to move back to. Either way, it will be a win/win and hopefully clear some of my mental energies. My plan is to pick a room to work on every day and do *something* with it. It doesn't have to get done that day.

I have an issue with thinning hair and have felt like I must wear a wig (sucks to be 40 and in that position). When I didn't wear a wig, I was always afraid of the sun and rain. Now that I do, I am afraid of the wind. Either way, it hinders me being adventurous. This is why it actually *meant* something for me to say "sure" to going in the convertible. H has said that I should lose the wig. That my hair is "not that bad" and it holds me back too much. Last night he brought it up again. Suggested that I go to a town where I know nobody and just walk around and go shopping and see what happens. As I told him, I really don't want people assuming I have cancer, or even if they don't assume that, just feeling sorry for me. Bottom line--I need to find a way to feel comfortable in my own skin/hair.

After our 'talk' last night, I was doing very well; until I started obsessing about him being with someone. I still have very high hopes that he'll back and so I didn't want our fidelity to be stained. I need to get my PMA back up because I certainly don't want his final memory to be of me having a melt down.

Isn't it funny how anonymity makes me spill the beans (re hair) on something that I spend a great deal trying to hide?

He again told me last night that he felt like I mothered him sometimes. I think I am almost TOO stable for him.

I keep reading that I should be trying to avoid (physical) separation; I wonder if there is anyone out there who has physically separated that it worked out for??