NikkiB #17

[S.T. _I Made It!]

OT....can you tell us how Nikki can "no longer accept it". Kicking him out of the bedroom? leaving? I wasn't really sure how she should do that. I guess I feel that if there are ultimatums, he's just gonna say fine, I'll see ya.

My H was also contacting OW after we reconciled. Not seeing her physically, because she lived 5 hours away, but still contacting. Now he never had a cocky attitude, but it was a secretive attitude. I knew that I had told him my perfect scenerio would be for him to never have contact with her and for us to be open about everything. I never "told" him to quit, or give him an ultimatum. I basically put faith in my God and knew that it would end if I continued to push forward and do what we have learned. then, about 5 months later, it stopped.


I really believe that they are meant to be together and things will work out, as long as Nikki stays strong and doesn't give up. The two of them have a great time together-something my H and I don't even have much of-and I believe they got together for a reason. I believe this OW is just a temptation that H cannot handle. As you mention about the MC, I really hope that H will have the desire to go.

Thanks OT!

oh, Nikki. I know this is hard, but I think having a calm attitude and being able to discuss the problem without emotion worked to my advantage. It does seem that H is just doing this partly to "get your goat". If he's truely acting cocky about it. It's like he's a teenager saying...ya, I know you told me not to, but I can do whatever the heck I want to.

Now what OT said, take a break, would be a really good idea. You really need to step back, and see, can I handle H doing this and wait it out?? or Do I need to make a consequence decision?

I believe that the 3 steps, GAL, stop chasing, Wait, can still apply. We already know that did work and he came back. and now, H had a setback. So why couldn't it work again?