He's still with her, and I'm moving on...

[Hope_11]

I'm doing ok. I have been trying to keep busy and detach. I am going to a concert with some friends tonight, so that should be fun.

At this point in my sitch, I am just waiting for the D papers. Part of me just wants to sign them and get this over with, but there is still a part of me that wants to attempt to work things out with H (this part shrinks everyday). I think that he was probably surprised when we had the D discussion yesterday that I didn't make any of the following comments...Is this what you really want?...Once we sign these papers it's over, etc. This was another 180 for me, in the past have always tried to make him second guess himself. He has not had that oh my God, I screwed up my entire life, how do I fix it moment yet. A little piece of me thinks that me signing the D papers will be that moment for him, but I'm afraid that he is going to have that moment in a year when he sees me out with someone else or he drives by our horse farm that he built and realizes that he lost everything for this OW that he doesn't even care about.

I'm going to try and stay strong. At this point in my sitch, if he wants to attempt anything with me, it is going to be no contact with OW and he is going to have to win me back. I'm done bending over backwards for him. This guy that I have been dealing with for the last 8 months sure doesn't deserve it. It's time for him to do some bending.