I feel like we're back to where we were!

[fightingirish]

Why is it that every time I think things can only get better, something happens. We had a baby blessing for the kids on Sunday... lots of work. I didn't have anyone cater it because it was too expensive, so Myself and my mother help did it. My H and I and the kids showed up at around 1030 and He did almost nothing to help. He sat and talked to this one couple (a couple he did some construction work for) the whole time, didn't even hardly speak to me. Then towards the end he played a little with the kids and that was it. When leaving he didn't help at all with the clean up. Everybody else did but he had to go show off his new truck to the older couple and left me there with some of my family to clean up... what I mean by clean up is putting the tables and chairs away. I was so angry and did tell him that he should have been there helping, but no answer.

This wk has been a little crazy with my one son starting swim lessons. I have been working for the business until I have to leave to take him to his lesson, so Ive been a little crazy. There is a special race this wkend up north and my H goes and adverstises his business, we just can't go b/c my little one can't sit in one spot and Im afraid he'll get hurt up there, too many motorcycles.. anyway, i truly think he's glad not to have us around.

He just isn't acting right, I tried intiating last night, he couldn't be bothered. He came home a littl early yesterday, early to me is 630pm and all he did was plop on the couch and watch his tv show, couldn't be bothered with me or the kids, just yelled at them for interupting him. OOOHHH made me sooo made.

IM sick of the working till all hours and him coming home nasty and mean. Its like he just doensn't want to be here. I really thought I could handle being alone all the time, and Im beginning to think that its because I'd rather be alone then deal with him being mean. I guess emotionally I am lonely, He doesn't hear me when I talk to him and just complains about every thing I do, right down to Not blowing on the kids dinner enough so its not hot, which I do, but not enough.. I know crazy! Its unfornuate how we get ourselves into these positions. If I didn't have children with him, I don't know if I would be here, I just don't know how much more I can deal with.. his ups and downs are dragging me down.

If you've read this far thanks..

Blessings~