Cripes I cant catch a break. My mind will not even give me a break while I sleep. I fell asleep like 2 1/2 hours ago. I have a dream I meet this guy and we start talking. Pretty soon he is telling me he is the guy wife is with, but he is the 2nd guy since she left me, (he thinks). In my dream I am remember I am trying to be calm and gather all the information I can, but I then wake up and my heart is pounding.
So I get up, use the toliet, get a drink of water. I go back to bed, I am praying to God. "Please take this from me, release me from these thoughts, let me have some rest, some peace." And this is actually calming me some. I am dozing off, then my cat starts meowing.....and the worst, a mosiqito is in my room buzzing my ear.
Well here I am smoking, typing, tired as hell, have to get up for work in 5 hours. Will this ever stop????
I have actually considered hiring a private detective to follow her. Or the show "cheaters" comes to mind, although I cannot possibly think of a sleazier show on tv. But this not knowing........anything is maddening. I dont know how much more of this I can take.
I mean if she is "seeing" someone, why not just tell me.....someone tell me. If she wants to consider fixing things, hey I am all for that..........TELL ME. If she wants to end this...TELL ME. Even if she just needs more space and time.....someone please tell me.
I am sorry I am just babbling now, when I should be sleeping. I put some OFF on to keep the skeeters off of me, must have a hole in the screen somewheres. Wish I could catch the cat so I could put his butt out on the porch........
