Her getting you to leave your house is the next big step toward divorcing, fulfilling her fantasy just doesn't work any other way -- Even once she does meet him and like him, she can't leave with kids for his rented efficiency halfway across the country, and she doesn't want to up and leave alone. So what does that leave, she has to get you to agree to conspire with her against your marriage, you have to unseat yourself.
She will even offer her future appreciation for you making this selfless selfless gesture, and dangle the idea that it is likely to help your marriage -- she knows what you are dying to hear, a little encouragement, a little wink and smile and peck of a kiss from her. It's all lies.
As for her "space", you can't stop her; she can take all the space she wants, but you do not leave the house. You. Do. Not. Leave. The. House. This may be the most important juncture of your marriage, maybe your life to this point.
Also, don't be abusive, in word or action. Especially action, but don't give her any excuse to charge that you might possibly possibly be unstable or violent, and should be removed. Don't assume she won't try this, even dishonestly, despite how far back you go and the times you may have had together. You stay cool, polite, with a caring disposition. But be absolutely, frustratingly uncooperative.
