Well I did the grocery thing. She showed up tonight and said she told the idiot texting her to take a hike. She hasn't lied to me yet so I believe.
She was talking about how good she felt after my help last night and her breakdown. She gave me a big thank you. I listed and she kept talking. She asked what I felt and I scrwed up, shouldn't have asked but I can't live like this. "Are you going to date during this seperation." Long pause, "Well, no, ya no." So a sort of no. Then she asked me and I said no. She said you can if you want. I told her I didn't need her permission but that it was a choice of mine, and the same for her, she didn't need my permission but it was her choice.
Then she said something pretty smart, "Well what are the consequences?" Oh thanks, I'll stand here and you just kick me ok. I said "Well all choices have consequences, but that is matter of the chooser."
She said that was pretty good, and then reitereated that she wouldn't be. She said she thought she could have a male friend but the two so far just wanted bedroom eyes. I can't believe she is this nieve.
I told her that if she needed anything I was there. She said even if this ends in divorce, I replied, that wasn't a condition of me being your friend, either way I can help.
Well I said I have a lot to do tonight, so why don't I get these groceries in the car for ya. She said I shouldn't have and she needs to be more independent. All I said is I normally wouldn't have invaded her space, but after last night I was worried about both of them, so no problem.
Well she didn't realize what I got, things she likes, and how much. As I kept bringing it out and louding it up she was standing there holding her ben and jerry's crying saying thank you. Got cheescake, her gum, swedish fish, etc.. all the crap but staples too.
I closed the trunk, and turned and said goodbye to S, told him I loved him. Didn'd see her there, but she was waiting to give me a hug, I just caught her in my eye as I started to walk away. I had already committed and would have looked desperate I think, she shrugged and started to her car, before I could turn anyway. I waved and she left crying and waving.
Feel bad for her, she is not in a good place in her head. I think I have to back off and get some more DB'ing rolling. I'm getting great responses but her talk is all about independence. Strange though she shows with the bills asking for help. Well I'll keep helping, but I'm going to start being busier and doing things with friends.
