She called me at work today to ask what I decided about selling the camper. I told her I wanted to talk to her about it. I told her we didn't have to call them back till tonight. She asked what I was going to do with the money. I said it would pay off one bill for an extra $230 a month. This doesn't pay for an appartment anyway.
She assumed that I would leave if this happened. What I told her before she was going to see OM was, I don't know if I can stay here if you choose not to be with me when you get back.
Now, I think I should stay till the divorce is final(witch neither of us has seen a layer 'I think'). And she hasn't said I want a divorse either.
Why should she get her cake and eat it too.
Like my counselor said "She hasn't had any consequences for her actions."
Any suggestions
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
My W never said the word "D" until she saw a L to get "information". A week later she was in retaining her L and soon after she filed. Do not give yourself any false hope on insignificant things like this. I know when my W would drop crumbs, I would think that maybe she was getting ready to give me a steak dinner. Really nothing was there. We all are so hopeful that our M's will workout that we often trick ourselves into thinking there is something there when really there is not.
I know it sucks having an A flaunted in your face, GAL and flaunt(actions not words) the fact that you do not need her.
I feel like if I GAL first it's saying 'I give up'. I don't want her to think I gave up.
I went home for dinner mostly to pick up something I needed for work. She was on the couch I walked into other room did my thing, grabbed food and left. Didn't say a word to her. On my way back to work she called and asked if I was more mad at her than normal. I said no, just had something to do. She thought I wanted to talk about camper at noon. I said no, and goodbye.
I am trying to do more for myself and let her see it. I am considering going to moon dance jam on sat. to see her favorite singer, Rick Springfield, along with other bands. Before all this started we tried to get 2 other couples to go and camp with up it fell through because of scedules.
moon dance jam is about 3 hours away from home.
It is for me but, I would like to get an autograph for her.
Dude, you are not giving up. You are working on yourself, getting yourself healthy. If your W comes back or not your old M is dead. Start working on yourself....If your W comes back she will be coming back to a healthier, more confident you.
She called me at work and asked how long is this going to go on. Meaning me living there and her sneeking around, talking to him. She said if we sell the camper we could put most twards the bill and use some for me to move out for a couple of months, for her to decide what she wants. She said it doesn't have as much to do with him as I think, its more about us. She wants to decide if she wants to work on our marrage, be single, or w/him. She said that she will not stop talking to him until she knows, she doesn't want to wonder in the future if he was the one and she didn't try.
I really dont want to move out, my councellor said thats the first step twards divorce and me loosing barganing power for kids if it comes to that.
I am going home right now and will check for advice when I get there.
thanks everyone.
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
You were wrond to cheat twice. Now she is doing the same thing. Maybe she is trying to hurt you because she never got over it. Why else would she be throwing it in your face. Unless she is just plain evil. It is hard tothink of someone you love, so with someone else, so try to avert you thoughts as quickly as possible when your mind starts down that road. I know it is hard. Maybe you could try saying you know she feels she has to do something (whatever it is she is doing) and then back off and let her do it. Try to limit your interactions with her. Try being cheerful but not desperate. You really cannot change a person, but you can change yourself and see how she reacts.
There is always hope if I'm responsible for my own behavior.
