chicki's drama continues

[saffie]

GD,

I'm impatient too. I thought that my pregnancies should only be about 3 months long I'm that impatient!!!

I had a father with major anger and alcohol problems and it made me quite scared of conflict and men. Even so I managed to get addicted to something myself - prescription meds - and they changed my character. I know how hard it is to take a good long look at oneself and not like what you see much. To then try to reach out from that dark hole one has sunk into is so very hard, when not only have you hurt and distanced those around you, but you also can no longer see one's own self worth. I realised before I found out about my H's affair that things were badly, deeply, wrong in our marriage, but it was finding out about my H's A that was the shock that made my turn around happen. I am gradually coming off the meds and my H says it is like rediscovering me - he feels he is getting the original W back. It continues to be a hard journey and I feel that I have to prove the whole time, (to myself as much as him), that I HAVE CHANGED. His A was probably a good thing in that he has changes to make and things to work on aswell. We were lucky in that we nipped it in the nick of time, before we lost each other forever. Before we broke our four childrens' home up.

I'm telling you this to try and explain why I respect where you are coming from and what you have shared of yourself. I truly hope your W gets to see and BELIEVE what you have done and gives you a chance at reconciliation.

Yours admiringly

Saffie
ps. sorry Chicki to have jumped in there for a moment. I'll shut up now!!