Do I need to file myself to get him to fully wake up?
Okay, now we're getting into dangerous waters. It very well could be what he needs to wake up, but you would also have to show him complete detachment (no wavering, maybes, etc). You would really have to cause him to feel like the coffin is being sealed with the final nail. However...
This should be the very LRT! You must be prepared for this to have no affect on H and to follow through with the D and move on. You can't use it and then back out of it if it doesn't work. That will just show H that he has complete control of the sitch, and it will really work against him ever changing (because he would see that he doesn't have to -- you don't have the courage to leave him for good).
It is what worked to get me to see the light, but it took several months for it all to sink in, so if you went through with it don't expect any quick fixes or revelations on H's behalf. His pride would be wounded and he would likely be angry for a spell -- at which point my earlier suggestions to consistently excuse yourself from ANY conversation or communication that became volatile comes into play.
My suggestion at this point would be to just go as dark as possible. Communicate only when it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY (i.e. about the kids and such), and when you do communicate, be short and sweet, and be happy and confident. "Act as if" your life is just peachy without him. Let him call and email you, and let the majority of his calls go to VM and wait for a spell to respond to his emails. Let him become curious about you and where you're headed (i.e. get him to question "WTF is going on with her?"). Show him a woman that is done playing his game, and (with time) I'll bet I can show you a man who begins seeing the light. I can't say this will work for sure, but it something to consider.
What are your thoughts on this? Anyone else out there have an opinion?
