She goes out w/ a group who dress very provocatively. I have objected to this by my complaing at the end of the night and asking questions about what so and so was wearing. - She does not call me, unless I have specifically asked her to, to tell me at least when she has left so I know she is safe.
i can understand that your intentions are well-meaning concern for your W's safety and well-being, but i can really see how she would take this as controlling behavior. Unless she is a real boob (pun intended ) , she knows what's she's doing, and right now she doesn't want your input/opinion about it. The only thing i would draw a line on is if she has a habit of drunk-driving...but your post makes it sound more like it's a fear of yours than a reality.
Would it be a big 180 for your to just wish her happy good evening and leave it at that, regardless of how much you want to say something about her outfit, her drinking, her calling you, etc. If so, that might well get a more positive reaction from her. I know it would be hard, but it's worth a try.
, she knows what's she's doing, and right now she doesn't want your input/opinion about it. The only thing i would draw a line on is if she has a habit of drunk-driving...but your post makes it sound more like it's a fear of yours than a reality.