Tyler, this is not about sexuality, it's about her self image in a world where she has not resolved the past issue of being dominated / controlled by a man during her abuse.
My W had a friend who left her husband and did a similar thing. Went to a woman for comfort because in HER mind men were unsafe.
This isn't any different than any other OP where you have one vulnerable, hurt and confused person who is seduced by an emotional predator who is only interested in getting THEIR needs fulfilled.
I think you need to treat this like any other affair, and not stand for it.
