"Going Dark" - 101

[Kelley]

I am feeling the same way also. Seems like the longer that he is gone, the less that he wants to deal with me. When this all started back in May, I tried to talk things thru with him, gave him some things I found on good marriages. Gave him a letter I wrote of the way things were and where I thought they went bad. I even went to him to make up and I thought things were. I changed the one major complaint about me that he had but I found a thing he wrote about desperately wanting to be with this OW and paying a great price to do so. I didn't know what else to do at that time and kicked him out of the house. Now I am wondering if I did the right thing but I couldn't let him stay there after I found his true thoughts.

Since I have kicked him out and talked to a DB coach, I avoid trying to call him unless I have to about some house or kids matter. When he shows up at the house to fix things up, I am treating him like a friend, trying to help him out and just talking about other things. He won't bring anything up about our R and I am afraid right now to say anything about it. It just seems like the longer we are separated the more happy that he is about it.