Wait ... I'm still crying a bit ... and wanting to give you a huge hug.
Your post was so just what I hoped to hear from you at some point. Yes, you get it. You got it going on.
As for your H, I so hope for his sake he has broken away from the alien race. He may be so damaged that nothing really changes from here for a while. You sound so capable of dealing with anything that comes your way, you will be fine.
I know you would want H to be fine one day and now he may, if only in his strange way. As for the end of replay and so on, who knows? I like your idea that if you have to ask, "they aren't".
I hope your H continues a forward journey for himself. I hope when he is ready it leads him to his own return to his own life and his own love ... you.
Above all else, I am just so thrilled to know that you are ok, and you are going to stay ok. I think you have made it through your own tunnel to your own return to reality. Thank God. God bless you and everyone around you, each and every day.
