CVA - Thread 2, Hold mode

[Not Much Left]

Hey Nomo & Others
Just came back from C. Very weird, trying to take it in.

W saw him yesterday. She would share nothing last night w/ me about what was said.

I walk in and he is pretty sullen about the outcome. When I pressed him to tell me what she actually said to come to a conclusion that my W is just "along for the ride, comfortable where she is with the living arrangement, it is being financed..." his words, he said he was sort of going off what I had said about that and her lack of committment one way or another to all questions regarding our R and where it was headed.

So, as my heart sank a bit, I tried to keep calm and ask if there was anything specific she said that would tell him it was over. No, he said.

I told him I though she was in hold mode and still watching my every move. He tentatively agreed based on the fact that she said "during our past separations, he has been nice before but went back to the old cliff so I dont know (guessing here) if it will last".

Question for the group.
If she was done, wouldnt she have just said, "I dont care if he changes or not, I am not going on with this" or something to that effect? I went through the last 2 weeks with him, (i) there every night, no resistance, back rubs and no significant issues and he says, "yes she is definitely letting you get close" but I sensed some hesitation on his part.

Why would she let me get closer, to make pulling the rip cord more comfortable? That one is definitely hard for me to understand if that happens.

Need some advice. I called her to ask if she was going out w/ her group tonight to celebrate her Bday (they all do this) as she said late last night that it might happen tonight. I told here I needed to make plans one way or another. She said no, probably not, I asked if it was "ok" to come over and she says yes, so...

????? would appreciate any advice here ladies and gents!