Seriously though, I've been a horrible man many times throughout my M, and it really took my W leaving me, IC sessions once a week for 3 months, several self help and marriage books, and DR and this board to get me to where I am now (and still feel like I have a long way to go). I have made many great changes, and I believe that if I hadn't filed for D in January (out of spite for W leaving), W hadn't began dating OM (who is 12 yrs older than her) and she was able to really look at my hard earned changes, things might be different. However, it is what it is, and I won't give up until she marries someone else. That is my line in the sand.
Thanks for you compliment -- it really meant the world to me hearing that from SOMEONE!
Have you talked to H about his anger issues? Has counseling ever been mentioned by either of you? What was the resulting discussion? My take is that H will have to come to terms with his problem before he will be willing to seek help for it. Anger and control were issues I dealt with in my IC sessions, and it helped tremendously! I think consistently excusing yourself from arguments with H whenever he becomes angry will help him come to terms with his problem if he really wants to work on things with you. You definitely can't guilt trip him about it (it will only make him more angry -- trust me).
Also, if you don't have any advice to give on other threads, just offer words of support and encouragement. If you do so regulary on certain people's threads, they'll usually get back to you too.
