I guess you are like me here, being separated is so weird that you cannot know what territory you have moved into. What does it actually mean to him and you? It is worth discussing this before you separate.
heh-when I tried to talk about it, get some ground rules established, suggested reading the book about a "controlled separation", he didn't want to do it. He reiterated that he wanted to know what it felt like to be free and having "rules" would hinder that feeling and he wouldn't agree to it.
Playing devil's advocate (probably somewhat literally), I can see where in his mind he needs to be sure that either way, he is making the right decision. And if he never gets to experience "the other side", won't it always be a draw to him? Additionally, I really do not want to "force" him to divorce me. (WTF is wrong with me? I need some serious coaching.)
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I think your counsellor is going to push him to separate. Any marriage counsellor that is focused primarily on "what makes you happy?" is going to destroy your marriage. I'd say cancel the appointment and never see her again. "help you through this transition"?? I think she's going to "help" you "transition" to being divorced.
I totally agree.
I am dragging my feet right now. I need (regardless of staying or going) to get rid of a bunch of sh*t that has been cluttering things up. But when I start to sort thru the stuff I am so overwhelmed with the prospect of dealing with everything, I just can't do it. (It's far easier to hang out on these boards. )
Alright, I just made an appt to speak with Chuck a DB coach. Wish me loads of luck!!
Edited to add: I don't think my H is sure of his decision if he is sleeping in my bed and having sex with me. Agree?
Last edited by Agent99; 07/10/0704:52 PM.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
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