I guess I'm saying that an OP is an OP (whether and OM or OW) and repair to the R can't happen if the WAS remains committed to continuing the R with the OP. You then have to ratchet up the GAL and the detachment that much further to counter - and to spare your sanity.
In essence, I was reliving my sitch in Feb 2006 where my W was leaning heavy to her new life with the OM - and making it clear that is what she is going to do. So I ratcheted the GAL, told her I was letting her go and moving on. I completely believe in the power of DR/DB'g, but I think sometimes it keeps you "holding" on - it is a very personal choice to continue to do so. But the LRT is meant to be the LRT. I can't sit back and tell you what to do, but I can tell you that I was getting D'd a year and a half ago - and I was okay with it. I hadn't failed in trying to save my M - I became a better person, husband, father from it. It was just that I had a partner that at the time wasn't willing to re-invest in us. So, instead of trying to continue to sell, I let it go.
So, I don't have any advice other than to say if you want to save it, hang on...you've got lots more time to do so, but I emphasize LOTS more time...only you can tell if you have the intestinal fortitude to make it? Great if you do. It is the "better" path.
Now on detaching - what if you detached completely - even physically - next time she looks to ML, what would happen if you declined? Just wondering there...
tyler, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hang in there....
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
