Not sure anymore

[Dr LOve]

Hey cades,

Received E-mail from "that person" this morning bad timing. I did respond back but said very little.

Is this the quiet before the storm for me? So many thoughts going through my mind. So many roads I could take. It was much easier being on auto pilot (meds)

H

[RedHeadWife]

Husband, it's kind of funny, but you used to be over in another forum, right? Was this email from someone on that forum? I actually saw the EA starting just from reading your posts back & forth !!

[RedHeadWife]

I also rec'd an email from H's friend from last night. I just said that we need to remember that we're both married and want to stay that way. Still want to be friends, etc., BUT and that's a BIG BUT . . .

[Dr LOve]

cades you red headed physic,

I was not in another forum but it did start here. She is nolonger here.

H

[RedHeadWife]

I didn't know you back then, but I was tempted to say something to the both of you, but never did Oh well, you figured it out on your own. It's nice to be validated by someone else and hear "nice" things from someone else. As much as I hate it, I can't condone H's EA so much anymore now that I know how he was feeling as far as me not necessarily being there for him and then some OW was. Just glad it didn't go PA, not sure how I would deal w/ that.

[Dr LOve]

cades,
She was understanding. talking to her was just like taking to my W. Some of the things she told me about her husband sounded like she was taling about me. Why Couldn't My W and I talk so easily. We did say alot of things that should have been kept between a H & W.
Why does she have to e-mail now.
H

[RedHeadWife]

How did it end up when you two quit emailing? What is she saying now? Just like I'm having to do, keep it real -- FOCUS! Think about consequences and how we felt when it happened to us. We don't even want to go down that road! Why would we want to jeopardize the M we are trying so hard to save??

[Dr LOve]

cades,
I kinda don't want to talk about it right now, not here. Just be carefull.

Husband

[RedHeadWife]

Ok, that's cool. We just need to make sure we don't fall into the same trap our significant others did !

[Dr LOve]

Hey cades,

How ya doing, I didn't mean to leave you hanging. It is SOOO easy to be caught up in the emotions. My "person" was a little less emotional about it then me. We started telling each others things that should only be discussed between a husband and Wife. It was then that WE realized that I was saying things to her that I would not want some guy saying to my wife and she was telling me things I would not my wife to talk about to another guy. She is trying to stop her EA with an OM. I have helped her understand how her husband feels. But it is kind of like trying to pull someone out of a rapidly flowing river and getting swept up in it yourself. We are still e-mailing each other but there is no longer any "intimate" talk.
In your case being your husbands BF it could really back fire on you. Something completely innocent can look real bad. I did tell my wife that I was talking to my "friend". I told the truth about how my friend was having an affair and was helping me understand what drove her to it. That was months ago. It then went to the "intimate" talk. But has since retuned to just helping each other. Please be so careful. I was lucky that even though the "person" tossed her vows aside for the OM. She did not pursue me. I was an open wound waiting to be infected by this cheating disease.