thanks for your comments no need to apologize, i still think the world of my wife but with no children and such a short marriage i think i am better cutting my losses. don't get me wrong if she came begging back then i would have a tough decision.
she has yet to seek counselling for it nor do i think she will. in fact she doesnt know she has it , my counselor told me but since my wife wont go she wont find out. she has so many of the characterisitics and also the history of abuse and abandoment to go with it. after her latest major pull back i have realized her problems are aot deeper then just a bout of depresion from her dads death.
For counseling to be effective, an individual has to want to change and be open to counseling. People reach this stage at different stages in their life. A good counselor will tell you that they are only able to focus on YOU. They can help you become an ideal partner, but they can't do anything about what your W does or says. They can advise you, but they don't know much about your W, just what you have shared. I imagine that you have shared only the 'problems' that you perceive. You could ask your W to speak to your counselor to give them her perspective on what you can improve upon. Tell your W that you want to be totally honest with this counselor and you feel that she may be able to provide more info for the counselor. You are not asking her to go to counseling, just asking her to give the counselor info on how to make you a better person for YOU only. Try this approach.
OneWish's Story
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
my wife is running from the whole thing. we had agreed to start dating but she quickly nixed that. she admits she is in denial about alot and supresses all her issues. she says there is no feelings there but 2 weeks ago we look like we have a chance with her coming over the house and losing months of emotions then getting sent home from work because as she said on my voice mail that she is a freaking mess. well she quickly backed off and once she had a chance to registar this whole thing she went back into hiding.
mkultra
i don't feel like anything with my wife now. she is scared to death of me. she was none of the issues above until her dad died. i always thought how after her life is she not screwed up and bang her dad dies and all her issues come to the surface.
if she truly didn't have feelings for me she wouldn't have a problem going out on several dates and putting closure to this thing. she is scared to lose her self in me again. there is safety in hiding i guess. she will regret it one day but i will be long gone.
